Skate-Wear Central

Demin Short

7 types of people who wear… wellington boots!

Welly season has hit us with a wet slap in the face. The weather is getting colder, the ground wetter, and our clothing is becoming more and more grey. But there are certain people amongst us who will not be so defeatist with their attitude to British weather! For they embrace the cold, the wet and the windy! They are welly wearers!

So in celebration of those amongst us who are brave enough to face any elements we present to you our complete guide to the wellington boot wearer: from fashionista to farmer right through to super hero!

(Psst a “welly” is short for a wellington boot )

1. Style Star

   Boot style: super fashionable but plain Hunter wellies in a multitude of muted colours

   Clothing: Tight jeans, MASSIVE psuedo fur coat

   The style star knows exactly what is hot and what is most certainly not. This year what is not hot is a wet and dowdy look – so how do they fight the elements? Looking to the stars for inspiration sees our style star considering the options of the boot – a classically autumn/winter look. Perfect! With the welly she can refrain from the exposed elements and concentrate on the important things. Looking awesome.

2. Music Lover – festival reminiscing

   Boot style: it doesn’t matter – the more waterproof the better

   Clothing: jeans, light clothing, t-shirt of favourite band, painted nails

   With the festivals being very much a distant memory the music lover looks to the up coming gigs in intimate surroundings. But what is this? A last minute festival is happening this month?! Well then… better pack the wellies..!

3. Lord of the manor – A tweed spectacle fantastic!

   Boot style: majestic and enduring – perfect for landrovers

   Clothing: well… khaki trousers/chinos… Tweed blazer?!

   You’ve just been invited to the very latest river boat race and you haven’t the faintest idea what to wear to the occasion. Of course it will be frequented by the very highest echelons of society and your biggest buddies. But then again the river is obviously a treacherous terrain filled with muddy banks and potentially lots of alcohol to get sloshed. Yes yes there is a marquee but let’s face it – the rain makes a nice mixed… So you need rain proof gear you say? The classic hunter wellies I fear will be the only boots worthy of today’s merriment. Let’s get drunk.

4. Farmer

   Boot style: Overtly practical – have lasted at least 40 years

   Clothing: worn jeans, corduroy laced with mud, plaid shirts

   Wellington boots – made for enduring the very toughest weather conditions thanks to their rubber construction that allows flexibility and waterproof properties. It’s almost like they were made with farmers in mind. Of course the farmer loves his wellies – they are almost as important as their accompanying sheep dog – trustworthy and reliable – ready for work. It doesn’t matter that the rain is torrential, never ending and already causing mini floods – These boots will be so caked in mud that the layers could be used to carbon date the official birth of “Trixie” the prize sow.

5. The Celebrity

   Boot style: custom designed one off designer wellie – potentially diamond encrusted with additional gold decals

   Clothing: either complete mismatch (leggings for the pub, tracksuit bottoms for the corner shop) or overtly designer – £200 t-shirt drapping over £1000 demin mini skirt…

   The celebrity is the epitome of trend – they forsee and dictate to the masses and are an inspiration to all who bestow their eyes upon the celebrities greatness. It is highly pressured to ensure you can be this good looking all the time. But ensuring you have style is a difficult job that only the celebrity can do – matching the very latest fashion with the most avant garde of footwear.

   To be fair on the celebrities it would be difficult to pigeon hole a style – from Gwyneth’s pub wellies down to Dame Shirley Bassey’s fantastic diamante-encrusted wellies. Of course the common trend is how high end the wellies tend to be – from the £250 spent on the designer Jimmy Cho to the £35k spent on Shirley’s boots. Can you buy style… yes… it seems you can… Don’t worry… they can afford it

6. The Superhero

   Boot style: red knee high boots

   Clothing: blue and red mostly… lycra

   Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it’s a pair of bright red wellington boots flying through the air! Where would the man of steel be without the famous red boots? The big blue would be completely without his famous red blur flying through the sky which would undoubtedly prevent the whole “is it a bird” thing going on – no one would even see him!

   And how do we know they are wellies..?? They have to be near indestructible, water proof (he flies through frickin’ rain clouds and oceans), and … knee high? They also have to sheen quite a lot and be comfortable for A LOT of manual work. And he is a former farmer… hello!? He’s probably had these boots since he was twelve.

7. Magic Wellingtons – the power wellies

   Wellies Type: mythical magical wellingtons that are fireman red

   Clothing: big green woollen jumper, blue trousers

   If you had a genie what would you wish for? Chance are after the infinite amount of ice cream and lemonade you will probably find yourself asking for more wishes afterwhich the genie will look at you turn into a big shoe and stomp on you for asking for such a silly wish. Well if your name is William and you have a big pair of red wellies then you likely do not have that problem. Your attire is always green, hair always spiky and you have bright blue trousers. Chances are that you want nothing more apart than pure adventure! But then you do have a pair of magical red wellington boots that grant you all the wishes in the world. Well done William.

Do you fit in any of these wellington boot wearer categories?

About the Author

Lauren Hutchinson works with simply wellies to create really fun and interesting articles…

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