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Monday Night Raw Instigation

Tonight’s RAW kicks off with Chris Jericho and Mike Adamle talking backstage, well, in mid-conversation, bad timing… Jericho says what Adamle did last week was inexcusable. Adamle reminds him he wouldn’t be Champion if it weren’t for him. Adamle says tonight, Jericho will wrestle and Batista will pick his opponent.

Rey Mysterio and Matt Hardy vs. Kane and Mark Henry -

Back from commercial and Rey Mysterio is making his way to the ring as Lilian begins introductions. Out next is his partner, ECW Champion Matt Hardy followed by Mark Henry, Tony Atlas and Kane. We see Johnny Knoxville sitting at ringside. The bell rings and it’s Hardy and Henry starting things off with a brawl. Hardy comes off the second rope a few times with an elbow, staggering Henry. DDT on Henry for a 2 count. Hardy misses the Twist of Fate and Kane distracts him, letting Henry lay him out.

Kane comes in and pummels on Hardy for a bit before tagging Henry back in. Henry continues beating on Hardy as the crowd tries to get behind him. Henry levels Hardy with a boot and tags in Kane. 2 count by Kane and he locks on a choke, wearing down Hardy as Rey waits for the tag. Hardy drops Kane with a DDT and Rey gets tagged in. Rey unloads on Kane but only gets a 2 count. Rey dropkicks Henry off the apron and goes back to work on Kane. Rey drops Kane on the ropes and nails the 619. Henry grabs Hardy at ringside but Rey dives off the apron, knocking them down. Hardy and Henry fight up the entrance way.

Mysterio tries to hit something off the top rope but EATS KANE’S FOOT.

Winners: Kane and Mark Henry. – Mmmm. ECW’s best monster and RAW’s best monster devoured the faces. We saw it last week (so no Weekly Keeper for it, two weeks with the same main event?) but I’d give it a 6.0 out of 10.

JBL vs. Haas Hogan -

JBL mocks everyone and the economy. JBL says the bailout plan lets him keep all his money and he’s making bank. JBL says he is America, he is a real American… Hulk Hogan’s “Real American” theme music hits! Out comes Haas Hogan! Charlie Haas comes out in red and yellow, looking like The Hulkster. Haas does the Hulkster mannerisms and rips his shirt. The bell rings and JBL goes to work on Haas, beating him from corner to corner. Haas starts to Hulk Up and points his finger in JBL’s face followed by right hands. Haas throws JBL off the ropes and hits the big boot but misses Hogan’s leg drop. JBL nails the Clothesline from Hell for the pinfall and the win.

Winner: JBL. – Thanks for Haas, and thanks for letting us know JBL still kicks the crap out of joke match people. 5.0 out of 10.

- Todd Grisham is ringside with Johnny Knoxville, Chris Pontius and their director guy from Jackass. Johnny says they are taking Khali up on his invitation. Grisham asks them about their comments on their website and shows some of the photos they have up. Johnny says he had nothing to do with any of that and Pontius said someone must have made this up. Johnny says they’re having a ball at RAW but waiting for the midgets. He says they didn’t bring their midget tonight but are waiting for one.

Batista vs. Shawn Michaels

Back from commercial and Batista makes his way to the ring with his usual pyro entrance. Out next is his opponent as named by Chris Jericho, Shawn Michaels. Both men got huge pops. Before the match starts, Jericho appears on the big screen and announces this is a Lumberjack match. Out comes Mark Henry, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, Snitsky, Paul Burchill, D-Lo Brown, Tony Atlas, Chavo Guerrero, Bam Neely and about 6 or 7 other guys.

Back to the ring, HBK and Batista and going at it with the Lumberjacks surrounding the ring. HBK goes to the floor and decks Deuce. HBK locks on a figure four in the middle of the ring on Batista. We see Jericho watching the match on a monitor in the locker room. Batista turns the figure four over and breaks the hold. HBK hits a swinging neck breaker on Batista and stomps on his face. Other names outside the ring include JBL, Manu, Randy Orton, William Regal and others.

Batista backs HBK in the corner, kicks him and throws him into the opposite corner, nailing him with a running knee. Batista hits a big running powerslam for a 2 count. Batista applies a rear choke type move on HBK until he fights out of it. Batista hits a big back body drop on HBK and gets another 2 count.

Batista lifts HBK in the air and drops him over his knee, pinning for another 2 count. Batista takes HBK back to the mat with another body scissors move. The hold is broken but Batista stomps away on HBK. Batista with a forearm to HBK’s lower back. Batista runs into HBK’s boot and is knocked down. HBK gets a 2 count. Batista levels HBK with a huge clothesline for another close 2 count.

Batista goes for a spine buster but HBK slides out of it and goes for Sweet Chin Music. Batista blocks it and tries to throw him over the top but Shawn hangs on. HBK comes back in but gets caught in a big tilt-a-whirl slam for a 2 count. Batista gets ready for a spear but as HBK gets up, he clotheslines him to the floor. Everyone goes for Shawn but Mark Henry pushes them out of the way. Henry grabs Shawn in a bear hug and rag dolls him, throwing him back in the ring. Batista gets a 2 count as we go back to commercial.

Back from commercial and Batista has Shawn locked in a big bear hug. Batista pushes HBK back in the corner with a big thrust. HBK fights back with chops. Batista throws HBK on the turnbuckle post. Batista ends up on the floor. Randy Orton tells everyone to get back as he goes to kick Batista’s head but he moves and Orton misses. Batista fights DiBiase off and gets back in the ring. Batista is down now. HBK climbs the top rope. JBL distracts the ref while William Regal pushes HBK off the top rope. The ref begins his 10 count on both men who are down.

Both men get up on the nine count and Batista drops HBK with a big spine buster. Batista lifts HBK for the Batista Bomb but HBK punches him in the head. Batista and HBK fall over the top rope as the Lumberjacks attack both men. All of the Superstars enter the ring as the bell rings. Batista hits a Spine buster on Manu. HBK goes for Sweet Chin Music on Batista but it hits JBL. Batista goes for a spear on HBK but nails Mark Henry. Batista and HBK clear the ring and try to regain composure as we see Jericho watching a monitor from the back.

Winner: No Contest.

Cryme Tyme and Kelly Kelly vs. The Miz, John Morrison and Jillian Hall
The Miz and Morrison are in the ring with Jillian and tell Cryme Tyme they’re going to prove they’re more “gangsta” than them tonight. They break out in a whack rap with Jillian singing in between verses. Cryme Tyme’s music finally hits to interrupt the jankfest.

Kelly and Jillian start the match off going back and forth. Kelly takes her down with a head scissors move. Jillian tags in Miz and Kelly tags in JTG. JTG hits a dropkick and a neck breaker move. Jillian starts screaming at him and he turns around but gets nailed by Miz. Morrison gets tagged in and they double team JTG. 2 count by Morrison. Morrison distracts the ref and Miz stomps on JTG on the apron. Neck breaker by Morrison for another 2 count.

JTG hits a big right hand on Morrison and tags in Shad. He comes in and levels Morrison with two clotheslines and a splash in the corner. Shad lifts Morrison with one arm and slams him down for a 2 count as Jillian and Miz come in. Kelly and JTG also come in. JTG nails Morrison with the hockey mask from earlier, which lays him out. Shad takes advantage and pins Morrison for the win.

Winners: Kelly Kelly and Cryme Tyme.

Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

Batista calls for the bell and has words with Jericho. Punk comes from behind and rolls Y2J up for a 2 count. Punk attacks Jericho and sends him to the floor. Jericho gets pissed and starts to leave to the back. Batista goes after him and brings him back to the ring. Punk attacks again and hits Jericho with knees in the corner. Punk wraps Jericho around the ropes with a spider type move and Batista just lets him. Punk goes to the top and hits a cross body on Jericho for a 2 count.

Punk hits a huge kick that knocks Jericho down. Punk goes back to the top but Jericho pulls his leg and brings him down to the mat. Jericho stomps on Punk now. Jericho hits big right hands on Punk now, turning the tables. Jericho taunts Batista and they have words again. Jericho with a suplex on Punk another kick and a pin attempt but Batista counts it slow. Jericho has more words with Batista. Jericho applies a submission and tells Batista to check Jericho as the crowd chants Punk’s name.

Back on their feet now and Jericho continues his assault. Jericho goes for his bulldog but Punk pushes him into the turnbuckle. Punches and kicks by Punk followed by a heel kick to the face. Punk misses the knee in the corner and Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho. Punk rolls him up for a 2 count. Punk nails the running knee to the face this time and the running bulldog. Punk goes for the GTS but Jericho fights out of it. Jericho hits the Codebreaker and covers for the pin. Batista counts to 2 and has something in his eye, so he stops the count. Jericho gets in Batista’s face. Batista kicks him and drops him with the Batista Bomb. CM Punk takes advantage and covers Jericho for the pinfall and the win in this non-title match.

Winner: CM Punk.

After the match, Batista heads to the back as Jericho gets to his feet in the ring. The World Champion and #1 contender stare each other down as RAW goes off the air.

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